


Minecraft, but it's a board game that wants to kill us

by ColorsofaYinYang



Series: mcyt fics [5]
Category: Jumanji (1995), Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Jumanji Fusion, Banter, Being Hunted, Family Dynamics, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, If you die in the game you die for real, Minecraft Manhunt, Minecraft but in real life, Respawn Mechanics, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 01:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30098052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorsofaYinYang/pseuds/ColorsofaYinYang
Summary: Tommy should have realized something was up the moment he opened the door to find the board game sitting innocuously on their front porch. But, being a dumbass, he shrugged it off as Tubbo or Ranboo pranking him and took it inside to show Phil.“Hey, old man! Board games are your generation, right?”
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy & Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Tommyinnit & Tubbo & Ranboo, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: mcyt fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130342
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Minecraft, but it's a board game that wants to kill us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QuasiCanon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuasiCanon/gifts).



> For the February giftswap exchange on the Creator's Corner server! Check it out if you're interested in participating in future giftswaps and challenges: https://discord.gg/Pzkt5QVDwT.
> 
> This one is for QuasiCanon, and the prompt I filled was "where did your house go?" "that is an excellent question." Hope you like it! I'll be updating this in the future as well.
> 
> (Note: This is loosely based off Jumanji, but more specifically its spinoff Zathura in which the kids' house actually is transported into space. Then I mixed some elements of the original Jumanji and the new movies in as well.)

It all started when Tommy got suspended.

He, Tubbo, and Ranboo had been snooping around in the basement of the school without permission, playing around with an old board game they’d found, when they had been caught by a teacher and subsequently reported to the principal. Tommy took the brunt of the blame and managed to weasel the other two out of any major punishments, but he was suspended due to his troublemaking record.

Phil was understandably a little disappointed in him, but Techno ruffled his hair and called him a good friend while Wilbur had grinned and asked if there were any bodies down there. Overall, it wasn’t so bad. 

He should have realized something was up the moment he opened the door the next morning to find the board game sitting innocuously on their front porch. But, being a dumbass, he shrugged it off as Tubbo or Ranboo pranking him and took it inside to show Phil. 

“Hey, old man! Board games are your generation, right?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “I’m literally not that much older than you.” But he took the game from Tommy anyway and examined it, shaking the box curiously. “Huh…” He squinted, reading the text on the side of the box. “Mine...craft? Never heard of it before.” Glancing at Techno who was reading on the couch, then at Wilbur who was eating some cereal, he asked, “Want to try it out?”

“Ooh, yes!” Wilbur’s eyes shined with glee.  _ He has such a weird taste _ , Tommy thought. Techno didn’t look particularly thrilled to be roped into this, but after a bit of grumbling they managed to get him sitting in a circle with them, the board game laid out on the ground in the middle. 

Phil opened the dusty wooden box and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. “Ugh, instructions…” Tommy moaned. Phil shot him a look.

“How are we gonna know how to play if we don’t read the instructions?” He futilely tried to flatten out the creases, then began reading. “Minecraft: A game for those who seek to find a way to leave their world behind. You roll the dice to move your token, doubles gets another turn. The first player to reach the end wins. Huh, sounds simple enough.” He turned the page over. “Adventurers beware: do not begin unless you intend to finish! The exciting consequences of the game will vanish only when you return to the beginning and call out its name.”

“What does that mean,” Techno raised an eyebrow. Wilbur shrugged, making grabby-hands at the box. He slid the polished wood board out, two small decks of cards, a pair of dice and a few carved pieces clattering out afterwards. 

“Sheep!” The small sheep piece was instantly snatched up by Wilbur who held it in his hands like a prized possession. Then he plucked the pig piece up and handed it to Techno. “Here, I know you want this one.”

Tommy chose the wolf piece, while Phil took the bird piece, and then the game commenced. Tommy rolled the dice first, with them landing on 2 and 1. Sulking, he was about to ask for a reroll when the wolf piece started moving on its own, three spaces down the path. The four of them stared at it, then glanced at each other with varying expressions of confusion and fear.

“Uh… maybe there’s magnets in it?” Techno offered. He tried picking up the piece, to no avail. “Or maybe not…” 

“It’s a cobblestone space, so we need to draw a card. Maybe that’s why it’s locked into place?” Wilbur shuffled the deck of cards and set it on the board, gesturing for Tommy to pick one. “Go ahead, Toms.”

Hesitantly picking up the top card, the blonde flipped it around and started reading the text. “Oh no, you’ve made eye contact with an Enderman! If you have a Pumpkin card, discard it. Otherwise, you are in DANGER until someone lands on a water space.” He clears his throat. “Uh, what does that mean?”

“Danger?” Wilbur flips the instruction sheet, scanning it quickly. “There’s nothing about that on here.” As he continued to read, a faint growling noise started coming from outside, getting steadily louder. Everyone exchanged wide-eyed glances. Phil and Techno stood up at the same time, the latter moving to pick up one of the walking sticks propped by the door, wielding it as a weapon. 

“Something’s definitely up here,” Phil muttered, dialing on his phone. “No clue if it’s someone pranking us, or if it’s some weird Ouiji board shit we shouldn’t have messed with. I’m calling someone to come over.”

Wilbur stood and gestured for Tommy to follow him, juggling the dice in his hands nervously. Together, they peeked through the window blinds at the street, the dew on the lawn glinting dazzlingly bright as the morning sun shone down on it. The growling sound was getting even louder, as if it was directly around the corner. But there was nothing out of the ordinary as far as they could see.

They were just about to close the blinds and leave when there was a popping, whooshing sound. A tall shadowy creature loomed over them on the other side of the window, its maw gaping and eyes glowing an otherworldly pink-purple color. It was holding a chunk of grass from the lawn in its clawed hands. Wilbur yelped and toppled backward, grabbing Tommy with both hands and dragging him to the kitchen where the other two were.

“What the fuck was that!” Tommy shouted. He was trying to act brave, but it was obvious he was freaked out in the way that he kept trying to shuffle closer to Techno, who seemed to be the calmest out of everyone there. Secretly, Techno was freaking out as well, but no one needed to know that.

“What happened?” Phil asked. Wilbur relayed the experience to him, concern creasing his forehead the more he listened. “Ookay… let’s all just stay inside and keep our guard up. Surely it can’t get in, right?” There was a moment of silence, the faint growling noise still being heard in the background.

“Maybe we should try putting the game away,” Techno mumbled, hands still tense on his walking stick. He carefully walked to the edge of the kitchen and peered into the living room, then swiftly moved over to where the board was still sitting on the floor. He paused for a moment, then looked back at the three others who were watching from the kitchen. “Uh… you might want to take a look at this.”

Phil hesitantly led the way with Wilbur and Tommy following. They gasped when they saw the board. Wilbur’s piece had moved 8 spaces, to another cobblestone space. There was a new card face-up on the board.

“What? How?!” Wilbur shrieked. Then he facepalmed. “Ugh… I dropped them when we got scared by that thing.”

“Oh god, what does it say,” Phil groaned. Techno picked up the card and read it aloud.

“You’ve found a beehive! You gain one honey bottle card. If you have a campfire card, discard it. Otherwise, you are in DANGER until another player is 2 spaces ahead of you.” Instantly, the sound of buzzing started to fill the air. 

Wilbur looked wildly around, pulling his beanie down over his ears. “If I get stung to death, I swear to god-” Through the cracks in the window curtains, they could see an angry cloud of bees starting to form.

“Tubbo would have loved this,” Tommy moaned, curling up in a ball behind the sofa. “Why did we have to play this stupid board game.”

Phil snapped his fingers. “That’s it! Tommy, your card said you’d be in danger until you land on a water space. Wil, yours says a player needs to be two spaces ahead of you. If we keep playing the game, all these dangers might resolve themselves on their own.”

Techno glanced warily at the bees. “Either that, or we’ll just keep summoning more creatures,” he muttered. But he shrugged and nodded anyway. “The only thing that’s keeping me from flipping the freak out right now is agency, so I’m gonna do the only thing I can and roll.” 

He picked up the dice from where they were scattered on the ground and quickly rolled them. The results: a 3 and 4. The pig piece glided along the board, coming to rest on a crafting table space. “You have to pick an item card,” Wilbur told him quietly, glancing between him and the window with mounting panic.

Quickly Techno plucked up the top card of the item deck and took a peek. “I got an iron ingot. Great.” He put the card in his pocket and gestured for Phil to go. “Speedrun time?”

“Here goes nothing.” Phil took the dice and rolled, getting a pair of 1s. “Oh boy.” Thankfully, his piece landed on a grass block, which meant he was safe. Unfortunately, since it was doubles, that meant he had to roll again. “Wish me luck, boys.” The dice came up with 2 and 6, putting him one space ahead of Wilbur, on an obsidian space. “Huh, what does this one mean, Wil?”

Wilbur frowned and grabbed the instructions again. “I don’t know, it’s not on here. I guess it’s a safe space like grass?” The buzzing got louder, along with the growling of the Enderman. “Tommy roll now, hurry! Before they get in!” 

As he was reaching for the dice, another whooshing sound rang out, and the Enderman appeared in a cloud of purple particles, its whole body shaking. It let out a high inhuman shriek and rushed toward Tommy with its long shadowy arms outstretched. The blonde let out a high-pitched scream that he would later deny ever happened and flung the dice in its direction, leaping behind the sofa. 

Techno swung at the Enderman with his walking stick, the creature letting out a little ‘oof’ sound as it was hit. It teleported in another shower of particles, the growling sound now coming from somewhere upstairs. Outside, the bees had started to work together to try and get through the window, the sounds of little fuzzy bodies thumping against the glass becoming more and more terrifying. 

Then suddenly, everything went quiet. The four of them looked around in silence, confusion clear on their faces. Then Wilbur took a peek at the board and started grinning. “Yes! Tommy, you did it!” He cheered. The wolf piece had landed not only two spaces ahead of Wilbur, but it was also on a water space. 

“Phew, thank god that’s over with.” Phil sighed with relief, putting a reassuring hand on Techno’s shoulder. The pink-haired man lowered his weapon but didn’t put it away, still on edge after the Enderman attack. “Maybe we should try and get rid of the game while we’re safe.” He walked over to the front door and opened it, then froze in place. “Okay. So… we have a problem.”

With a gust of wind the door swung open a little further, revealing what Phil was panicking about to the rest of the group. No longer were they in the middle of suburbia, with concrete roads and well-trimmed front lawns.  Instead, their house was smack-dab in the middle of a dense jungle, vines and tightly packed bushes covering the landscape as far as they could see.

Techno, Wilbur and Tommy all exchanged glances. “Is this some kind of Wizard of Oz shit?” Wilbur groaned, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. “We’re not in fucking Kansas anymore, I guess!” 

Tommy pinched his nose, then tilted his head toward Techno. “At least this means I’m like Dorothy, right? Red slippers and all that, yeah?”

Techno snorted, scanning the forest for any potential threats. “Nah, Wilbur’s Dorothy because he can sing. You’re… you’re like Toto.” 

“You calling me a bitch, big man?!” Indignant, Tommy tried to kick his shins, only for Techno to swiftly sidestep him. “What are you then? You’re the Wicked Witch! Ooh, I’m melting, I’m melting!” 

“Hey, she wasn’t that bad in the book,” Techno grumbled. “But either way, I’d be the Tin Man. Because I’m heartless. And Phil’s the Good Witch.” Wilbur made a face as if to say,  _ ehhh _ , but before he could respond Phil interrupted them, ushering them back inside.

“Okay, we’re ignoring that. Done with this shit. I’m going to make canned soup, who wants some?”

~

Meanwhile, Tubbo and Ranboo were walking back from school. They decided to go check in on Tommy to see how he was doing, and potentially help Phil with damage control seeing as Tommy tended to cause chaos when he was bored. What they were not expecting to find was a blank lot where the house used to be, and a man standing looking at the area with an utterly confused look.

“Uh… what happened here?” Tubbo asked the man. He glanced between the two of them, anxious and twitchy.

“Are you friends of Phil? He called me here asking for help. Sounded like he was panicking a little.”

“Yeah, we’re Tommy’s friends. And who are you?”

The man pulled down the brim of his hat a little and offered a hand. “The name’s Fundy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Consider checking out the discord to meet some other lovely people :)
> 
> Extra notes: When Techno references the Wizard of Oz books he's not actual referencing the original Wizard of Oz, he's referencing the Wicked series. I read it maybe 4 or 5 years ago... shit's intense. Not for the faint of heart.


End file.
